"There are admirable potentialities in every human being. Believe in your strength and your youth. Learn to repeat endlessly to yourself, 'It all depends on me.'"
- Andre Gide
French critic, essayist, & novelist (1869 - 1951)

For Such a Time as This

My friend is so beautiful but she is blind to it. She has exotic dark features with full lips and flashing eyes. Her figure is one that many girls would kill to have, and her sense of style is undeniable. Although her beauty is so evident on the outside, it's what she has inside, her heart, that draws so many people to her. Her kindness and compassion, her spirituality, and especially her sense of humor. She can make me crack up with a certain face or a noise. And this girl's voice is that of an angel. Talented in innumerable ways, she plays sports, dances and is an honor student. From group to group she flits, a social butterfly, unaware of the cliques, thinking each group is a different type of exquisite flower, each having different, but equally delicious nectar. Her many friends are constantly vying for her attention and approval, advice and comfort. She is popular, not through fear, but by friendliness and authenticity. Which is why I can't understand how this wonder of a woman can possibly feel the way she does: worthless.
Not many know the self-loathing she feels. I am one of the few who have been granted a tiny peek into her mixed-up world. I say mixed-up because my friend just can't see her loveliness and realize her value. Stress runs her life, and anxiety is her constant companion. Pressure, she feels is, unavoidable. She wants it all to end, her pain to be banished forever, but she covers these unfathomable contemplations with extra smiles and laughter. There is no laughter when she is all alone and her mind is telling her she's nothing; the smiles are replaced with blank stares, and the sense of nothingness returns.
What does one do when they see their friend like this, a shell of what they once were? How does one convince this miracle of the beauty she posesses, and that she is loved by others, when she can't love herself, and not even be able to look herself in the eye? This girl doesn't know how much she means to me: countless times lifting me up, cheering me on, listening to my sobs and crying with me. If this girl is taken away from me, I will be dead inside, for we are joined by something greater than us. Nothing can replace what we have, and I will stand by her side always, lifting her up, cheering her on, listening to her sobs and crying with her. I will repay her for what she has done for me, and I will strive to keep her alive. I have been placed in her life for such a time as this.

By Sarah Klapak

Today is September 11, 2002, exactly one year since one of the most horrible days in America's history took place. I could just end this post here but I'm not. I feel I need to write about it, to vent, to let out my emotions, and to share my thoughts with people. I don't think I have written about my experience on that day since it happened so here I go.
September 11, 2001. I can remember that day clearly. I woke up early and was being driven to Hammerstein Ballroom in Manhattan nearby the Empire State Building by my mom and dad. My friend Suzanne was with us. We were being dropped off there because that was the day of the O-town concert and we decided to go early and stay all day to get a good spot. We were both really excited. I remember walking over to the line to find a spot to stand and there was a lady sitting on a folding chair in front of us. My mom came out of the car and stayed with us for about 10-15 minutes before she had to leave with my dad and go back home to Brooklyn. During that 10-15 minutes she began talking to the lady in front of us and asked if she could keep an eye on us throughout the day "In case, god forbid, anything bad happened." I get chills whenever I think of her saying that. The lady was extremely nice and said she would. It was about 7:45 a.m. when my mom left. Practically one hour passed and that's when it happened. The lady in front of us got a call on her cell phone from her husband who said he just saw a plane crash into the World Trade Center. He worked in a building directly across the street and was able to see it from his office window. This is how I found out about what was just the beginning of the most horrible day of my life.
No one else knew about this yet because her husband had called her less then a minute after he saw it happen. I immediately jumped up from where I was sitting and went to the payphone to call my mom. THANK GOD she answered the phone because I was completely terrified. She said she had just heard a huge bang and didn't know what it was. We live directly across the water from Manhattan and where the World Trade Centers were. Well now she knew what it was.
From then on it was complete chaos. When I say complete chaos I mean EVERYONE evacuating large buildings, crowds of people filling the streets, people hysterical crying, screaming, shaking, and cars on the sidewalk. Every horrible thing you can imagine was happening right before the people of New York City's eyes. I looked at my friend and I said "This looks like a scene out of a movie." It all seemed so unreal. You live in a city your whole life and tell yourself that things can never happen there but the scary thing was that it WAS happening and it WAS real. No doubt about it.
I remember going to the payphone every 5 minutes after that and having to wait on a long line beause no ones cell phones would work. My mom told me that no one was allowed out of Manhattan and to just stay where I was and be as calm as possible. It was pretty hard to be calm considering people screaming things like "We're all gonna die, we're all gonna die!" I seriously thought that I WAS going to die that day. Some crazy lady was saying that they were going to blow up all of New York City and that they already blew up the White House and killed the President. She was really freaking me out and I actually believed her because at that moment anything seemed possible. The blocks were being closed off and I remember seeing nothing but fire truck after fire truck race down the street I was standing on. There were hundreds of them in a row. I remember seeing the fire fighters just sitting in the trucks looking out of the windows as calm as calm can be and it amazed me. They truly are the bravest people ever to walk this earth and it haunts me to know I was one of the last people to see some of them alive. God bless them.
I went to call my mom again and she said that my cousin's husband was walking nearly 20 blocks to get me and my friend and take us back to his job. When I finally spotted him between the hundreds of people filling the streets, I just hugged him and we began our journey. It was hot that day, I was scared, hungry, I was carrying a heavy backpack, and the walk was long but I didn't and wouldn't dare complain for a minute. When we got back to his job which is in a large building next to Grand Central Station (another possible terrorist target) we went up to his office. My friend and I just sat in silence. I was terrified even more because I began to realize that I had friends in Stuyvesant (the high school right next to the WTC towers.) There was no way for me to find out if everyone was okay because the phones weren't working. All I could do was sit and wait. It was all so unbelievable to me.
At around 5:00 they finally opened some train lines again so we continued our journey home to Brooklyn. Even though no one knew if anything else was going to happen and I was scared to be underground on the train, our other choice would have been walking over the Brooklyn Bridge. Either way I would have been scared. The trains were PACKED. I remember people trying so hard to squeeze in at every stop because they were so eager to get home to their families and out of the city. I remember a group of people on the train who were singing and trying to make people laugh so that we would all take our minds off our fear of riding the train. They helped a lot. I thank them for that.
When we got off the train in Brooklyn, the streets were empty. The only thing you could smell was smoke and the only thing you could see was clouds of smoke in the air. Everything was covered with a layer of white/grayish ash and dust. When I got home I went into my backyard and found things that practically made me break down and cry. There were about 10 burnt papers from the World Trade Center. The wind had blown towards the direction of Brooklyn and everything just flew right aross the water into everyones backyards and onto the streets. I thanked my cousins husband so much because if it wasn't for him, I would have been stuck on the streets of Manhattan all day and I don't think i would have been strong enough to deal with that.
When I think back on that day, I also remember how everyone was helping everyone no matter what age, race, skin color, or religion you were. People helped others who didn't even speak the same language as they did. We all communicated and came together because no matter how different we all looked, we were all feeling the same way inside. Scared, angry, hurt, worried, and most of all sadness filled our hearts. That day also gave everyone a new pride for this country and a new outlook on life. It's amazing how some good can come out of something so bad. I didn't lose anyone directly in the attacks and I thank god everyday for that. I do know of people who lost loved ones and I make sure that they are in my prayers always. One of the biggest lessons learned that day was that tomorrow is promised to no one.
No matter how many years go by, never forget the heroes and the angels that we gained on September 11, 2001.

God bless.